Ugly truck wanted

I’m looking for an ugly truck.

Actually, I’d like to find a lot of them. I know you have them, hidden out behind the barn so the neighbors won’t think you’re a cheapskate or running a junkyard. Maybe you just leave them out in the field until you need to haul a spare part to the back forty or a roll of barbed wire out to the far pasture, out where you really don’t want to take that shiny new crew cab.

It’s probably dented, scratched, rusty, missing a bit of chrome and maybe a fender. It has some chains in the bed, along with a few empty cans of one beverage or another, some empty oil jugs, maybe a shovel from the last time you got stuck, and a few pieces of equipment from some implement you got rid of about ten years ago.

This old truck’s probably running on slick tires, a suspension that’s rough as an old horse-drawn buggy, and the vinyl seats would have to be mended to be considered shoddy. Springs poke through what upholstery is left, offering a sharp reminder to watch out for terraces, rocks and irrigation system ruts. The starter is balky, but the truck has never failed to start with a good head of steam and popping the clutch in second gear. Of course it’s a manual transmission. That’s why you always park it facing downhill.

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It leaks oil and several other fluids. The keys are always in the ignition because who would steal it and how far would it go anyway. Insurance? Who needs any stinkin’ insurance? A registration document is filed away somewhere, but the tag is older than your teenage son.

It rarely, if ever, runs on actual pavement anymore. This old truck has seen better days, but it’s been dependable. It still provides a service—bravely going where the good truck should not go—over bar ditches, through mesquite thickets and across mud holes and creek beds.

So do me a favor, if you will. Send me a picture. I’ll post it on our webpage and will ask our readers to select the oldest, most beat up, ugliest truck of the lot and we’ll award a prize to the winner, say a $100 gift certificate, which is probably more than the truck is worth.

Send pictures to [email protected]. Honor that old but dependable pickup.

Photos made in a junk yard will be disqualified. Truck should be on the farm, in running condition, but that will be hard to determine from a picture. I trust your integrity.


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